No offense, but your friends keep turning up dead.

"She nearly ran into the person standing in the hall. Her gaze jerked up, off her own feet, to take in fashionably ratty deck shoes, some foreign kind. Above that were jeans, body hugging, old enough to look soft over hard muscles. Narrow hips. Nice chest. Face to drive a sculptor crazy: sensuous mouth, high cheekbones. Dark sunglasses. Slightly tousled black hair. Bonnie stood gaping a moment.

Oh, my God, I forgot how gorgeous he is, she thought. Elena, forgive me; I'm going to grab him.

"Stefan!" she said."

Things that tend to look the same? Or just bad timing. (+movie trailers at the end)

Ok. As much as I hate these:

Paris, Cathedral of Notre Dame

Chartres, Cathedral of Notre Dame

Reims, Cathedral of Notre Dame

Bayeux, Cathedral of Notre Dame

I pretty much find annoying all these new movies that will hit the cinemas this year. Don't you have the impression that they all tend to be the same? Well at least the trailers do. It seems that we're such a depressed folk that we desperately need to dive into some sort of a fantasy world which obviously involves lots of fighting and sweating in wars. Oh and mythology. And the music in the trailers!!! It's like they just discovered that heavy guitar riffs go perfectly with action scenes put in slow motion and then sped up. I mean I'm excited to see these movies, I'm not going to lie. Still, it bugs me. And is Sam Worthington going to be the main character in every awesome movie from now on? I really like him but it's hard for me to switch my brain from one story to another having the same face in front of my eyes.

Here are the magnificent trailers:

1. Clash of the Titans

2. The Season of the Whitch

3.Robin Hood

4. Solomon Kane

5. Prince of Persia

6. Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Some old things I wrote in a notebook

12 Sept. 2008

Ce de motociclisti pe autostrada.
Anberlin.
August evenings bring solemn warnings to remember to kiss the ones you love good night.

Succes. Succes?! Asta a fost tot? Dupa atatia ani? Dar presupun ca asa se termina tot. Cu un cuvant banal. Pa. Bafta. Te pup. Succes.

Nine in the Afternoon. Song of the year.
Abia astept sa ajung acasa. In Oberbilk. M-am razgandit. Cred ca vreau sa raman in Germania. Insa nu am precizat cu cine.

Parca e mai bine asa. Oh, Cinema Bizarre. Stai. Ce vis am avut?! Cine era ala?! Mai blond, asa. L-am intrebat stanjenita daca e vampir si el a zis razand ca da. Asa in stilul " Evident ca sunt, nu ti-ai dat seama pana acum?"
Awkward! Da. Normal ca exista vampiri. Sunt pur si simplu oameni cu anumite preferinte si placeri diferite de cele ale "colectivului". Oamenii tind sa exagereze cand povestesc intamplari. Si asa s-a ajuns la tot felul de monstri.

Hmmm.
Stefan, Dan, Remus, tipul ala dubios, Cum il chema pe ala?, Flo, ala cu dreaduri, P, Mihnea o_O wtf?! Bleah. Nu mai. Never. Everything is average nowadays. Cred ca Marcus m-ar injunghia din cauza asta. Sau mi-ar da foc =). Thank God he's in Salisbury.

Ce tot cade pe mine?! Ah, esarfe. Kippen!! Ba nu. Vreau un pat nou.
Blah. Stiu ca nu ma place. O inteleg ffff bine. Dar e asa o chestie...te urasc dar imi place de tine cand ma bagi in seama si te iubesc cand ma asculti si purtam discutii de suflet.

Tocmai a cazut un album foto peste mine. Ma doare bratul. M-a injurat cineva.
Sheeeee isn't real.... I can't make her real..... Bine. Kris.

"Urasc ziua asta de tipul 26:2=13" =))))) O gandisem mult pe-asta atunci.

Brusc, vreme oribila. NRW sux anus. Dar asezarea orasului asta e ideala. Intr-o zona aglomerata de orase mari, aproape de 3 granite si de UK.

Au ramas urme de la basicile facute de sandalele alea negre. Dar a fost o zi/seara draguta. Exceptand faza cu Irina x_X.

"Mergeti 3km, pe urma, si parasiti autostrada." =)))

16°C afara. O_O. Vreme de Noiembrie.

Inca un sfert de ora si ajung acasa. Trebuie sa imi ingrijesc bronzul. Hmmm...ce o sa fac cand o sa vina Calin? Pe unde sa-l duc? Eh, o sa incerc sa fiu spontana :DDD Abia astept.
Uhhh va trebui sa ma intalnesc cu Olli intr-o zi. Nu i-am zis lui Igor la multi ani de ziua lui O_O. Uh-oh. O sa-l sun.

My stalker is still out there somewhere. Cine naiba o fi?!

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Sunt in biblioteca. Urasc momentele cand te uiti in jurul tau si observi ca tipa care sta la masa alaturata are un pulover LA FEL ca al tau. Bine, al ei e un gri mai deschis. Si ea e naspa, iar eu sunt o printesa superba. Gata, m-am linistit. Back to the wonderful revision.
505 va fi dulapul meu cat timp stau pe-aici. Asta daca nu or sa mi-l ocupe altii. Blah, ce naspa e sa fii singur aici. Adica e plin de studenti, dar nimeni cunoscut. Oh nu, cred ca se apropie tipa cu puloverul. O aud dupa cum isi tot curata gatul. Smexy. Ah, nu vine. Joy. E pretty naspa tipul ala care fuma...ce fuma? Lucky Strike sau Marlboro. Poate crede ca il urmaresc. Nah, s-a asezat strategic langa WC-ul fetelor. El ma urmareste =). Ok, cu siguranta nu. Facultatile sunt pline de coincidente. Eu chiar nu credeam ca cineva imi citeste blogul. Adica vad un nr de oameni care mi l-au vizitat, dar...in fine. =) Multumesc persoanei care citeste acum aceasta fraza in acest moment. Un *muah* lipicios. Eww. Din ala cu lipgloss care ramane pe obraz. Dar nu sunt data cu nimic pe buze.

"Mehr Leistungen für Menschen mit Demenz...
Fachjournal des bad e.V. background
August 4/2008"

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Nu stiu cat o sa mai rezist aici.
Nu gasesc puterea de a ma convinge ca poate e mai bine asa.
- Ce imi doresc?
- Cand a inceput sa se intunece atat de devreme?
- Am un zid in fata (la propriu si la figurat)

Yogi Bear - Boomerang

Nu vreau sa fiu realista. Realismul nu te face fericit.
Am realizat ieri ca daca as avea acum foarte multi bani, nu m-as simti mai bine.
Money instead of happiness - PANICA (m-am speriat de un om in curte X_X)
Nu ma pot obisnui. Mirosul...nu e ce caut, nu e ce vreau, nu e acasa.
Trebuie sa-i scriu aluia. Navy. Frate. Nu stiu, nu cred ca as avea curajul sa ma bag la asa ceva. Dar are un vis si are sansa sa si-l urmeze. Eu ce vis am? Nu am. Visez tot timpul, dar mereu e alta poveste, alta situatie, alt viitor.
Same as 5 years ago. August, Take this Bottle, lacrimi peste lacrimi.
Throat-decay.

*note from the present (a.k.a. 09.01.2010): Si acum urmeaza poezia inspirata de ce am scris mai sus. Nu o sa o scriu aici, o gasiti pe Writers-Network.com

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Fortune cookie messages:

1. You are a splendid tactician.
2. Wisdom can be given from one generation to the other.
3. Do you always need what you want?
4. You will overcome many difficulties without great problems.
5. An unexpected present will please you.

FASCINANTTTT!

Old English Poetry

Exeter Riddles

I'm a strange creature, for I satisfy women,
a service to the neighbours! No one suffers
at my hands except for my slayer.
I grow very tall, erect in a bed,
I'm hairy underneath. From time to time
a beautiful girl, the brave daughter
of some churl dares to hold me,
grips my russet skin, robs me of my head
and puts me in the pantry. At once that girl
with plaited hair who has confined me
remembers our meeting. Her eye moistens.

2009

January

Aloxa's New Years' Costume Party. Morticia. The first time I got REALLY drunk and lost my conscience and had to throw up O_O. And I kissed a random guy, although I was 100% sure that I didn't! Oh boy. I loved the next morning. Relaxed, nice sincere talk with my best friend. I miss her so much. I wish we could talk more but distance is a problem no matter what. Then I came back home to Düsseldorf and had to study for my last chance exam. Nothing special, I was drifting apart from my friends.

February

My last encounter with Economics. Fucked everything up. Went to Romania at the end of the month. Nothing special.

March

Still in Romania. I think it's a general rule that the most awesome things happen at the end of something. When you're about to leave. I was getting closer to the darkest period of my life. So this month was the BEST until December. I went out a lot, especially in El Comandante. Stefan introduced me to some germans. One of them was more interesting to me. Bla bla whatevs. I really liked him. But I was thinking too far. I'm a pretty realistic person but in this case I thought "hey, if you feel something, let it out! Don't analyse everything! Just go with the flow!". Bad idea :D. Oh and before that I met lots of nice people.

April

First 4 days, awesome. The rest... TONS of cigarettes, alcohol. Oh, and I was by myself while consuming all of that. Blood and a new road. What to do? English and Art History. Perfection. The only problem was that I could only start studying A.H. in October. So I took some English courses (Grammar, Translation, Literature, etc.). Tooootally different people there. And hundreds of girls. Met some nice people but it was difficult. It was hard to make new friends at that time. They were all in the 2nd semester and they already knew each other. The groups were already formed. There was only ONE cute guy there. From the ones that studied English. But I was 100% sure that he would never ever ever ever talk to me.

May

I was desperately looking for a job. The problem is that not only am I picky when it comes to boys, I'm picky about every fucking thing on this planet. So no degrading jobs (I'm not talking about prostitution, OBV. There are other jobs that make you feel like total shit and you KNOW you're smarter than that and that you could do so much better). No luck with that and I only went to uni 2 days a week. The rest was filled with the magnificent and productive act of wasting time.

June

The summer time was approaching! I could only think about my wonderful summer vacation that I would spend in Romania. Same routine. Going to uni, doing nothing, playing music from time to time, watching my hair grow and trying to lose weight. The last part isn't something new. At the end of the month a consulting company contacted me and asked me to come to an interview. I was in total shock. Firstly, because I never thought that I would get such a chance and secondly because I knew that if I started working, I wouldn't be able to stay in Romania for a longer period of time than 10 days.

July

At the beginning of the month nothing, then work! To be honest this job was the best thing that happened to me this year. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. Bla bla, nothing special, next.

August

Exam, good grade,joy. Went to Romania for 10 days. Went to the seaside, stayed in 2Mai. It was very relaxing. Vama Veche wasn't as awesome as it was a year before, nothing will ever top that. That's a lie. I have no idea what will happen in the future. Met some weird people, I was pissed off most of the time. Yay for me. Met with Ale, I miss her again. Why do all people make the same mistakes? I mean girls with guys. You meet a guy, he drives you crazy, you can't keep your hands off him but he has a girlfriend. He's a jerk because he makes you feel like YOU are the one and not her but that's obviously not true. He'll go back to her. It's just that he's going through a weird time in his relationship and wants to clear his mind somehow. So he finds comfort in little you and breaks your heart. Fuck em. Just be careful next time and don't get fooled so easily. "It's a repeat and it's getting old".

September

Hmm, what the hell happened in September? Apart from work. Nothing? I guess so. I know that I was eagerly waiting for uni to start. I was super excited.

October

UNI! New people, chaos, not so awesome :/. I loved the things I learned there, still love them. Fascination. Went out sometime, met this weird guy in Pretty Vacant, Eisenhart! Cool name, huh? =)))

November

I just kept on meeting new people. Met this guy, Aaron who's mostly a prick but what can you do? Thank God he's not my type, or I would be dead by now. I fell in love with Heath Ledger again.

December

Fun times. Holy fuck I'm 21. Ok apart from that. Heath Ledger will never get out of my head. Met another guy who looks amazing but doesn't study and apparently he can't speak English. I just hope that's a stupid joke. If it's true, I dunno, I'm sorry for him. Went out with friends, uni ended, had to write my first essay and make a presentation. Fail. Fun times, weird guys hahhahaha. You gotta love Stone. My parents came here, it was nice but time went by too fast. Met the guy I used to find interesting at uni in April (in Stone, of course). He's amazing. And the year ended with me looking like Bella in that scene in Twilight where she wakes up because Edward is waiting outside for her next to his car and she gets up, goes to the window, looks at him like an alcoholic at their favourite drink and shakes her head like "Holy Mother and Jesus, this isn't real. It's all a dream, whoa. OMG. I. have. nothing. to. say. Huh. Ok. I have to do stuff now." Yeah. Annoying.

I haven't made any resolutions for 2010. But they would be the same as last year:

1. Lose weight
2. Pass the exams with good grades
3. Make good friends
4. Continue to have a good job
5. Have more money
6. Maybe have a REAL boyfriend. I mean not like a stupid fling
7. Have a healthy family

I'm so hungry I could eat a baby.

Ok, now I'm angry. I had this in the back of my mind but I hoped that it's not possible. Oh, but it is! It always was and always will be. I'm the fucking donkey. That stupid promise I made to myself in the 12th grade still doesn't apply. Well it worked that year. Shockingly. Maybe I should put a new one on a wall here somewhere. It seems that writing stuff down works better. I'm also at a weird time of the month which makes me FURIOUS right now. I'm making sooo many mistakes in this post. C'est la vie. Whoa I'm super angry. I can't focus on anything. I'm angry because I feel like a fool. It's kind of affecting my ego. In a negative way. It's like....I didn't even really care about all this shit but now I'm starting to care. It's not that bad. Not yet. I hope it'll remain like this. 'Cause then it will just disappear. I'm kind of getting used to this type of situations. And I hate them to death!!!! Fuck it. At least I have a backbone. I'm not a fucking amoeba. All gooey and dull and lazy and UGH! Annoying! OMG. What if no one's going to go out tonight? Because tomorrow is the 31st? Shit. Oh well. Less people, more air to breathe. *sigh* Go to hell.

Caffeine in my brain

I got a bit scared the day before yesterday when I realized an idiotic thing. It's funny how we can never know everything about ourselves and our reactions to certain things. I was talking to a friend about a party he went to and about the fact that his friends started doing cocaine at some point. And he was like "I would never do drugs.". And I didn't say anything because I thought that if I would've been there, I would have wanted to try them. !!!! What the hell? The sad part is that those thoughts came into my head automatically. I wasn't thinking too much about what I would do. I just imagined everything and it seemed pretty realistic. Thank God I'm not a rockstar. I would've been dead by now if I were. Maybe it's just a phase? I've been acting pretty crazy lately. I started smoking in front of my parents. But that just gives me the feeling of being very sick. Mentally.
Again, I have no idea what I want. We'll see tonight, when all hell will break loose. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! I'm happy for a reason and stressed for another. Actually it's all fucked up. So typicall. And it's so funny that all these stupid things happen because of me! It's always MY fault! And even when I know I should stop, I don't want to! Because at that point I'm feeling good and that's always nice. But I'm not alone on this planet, I affect other people too. Ok, in the other case I hope I won't be the one too affected. But it's still my fault. I miss Mihnea. Though that was another complicated story. All the special people I've met in my life fucked me up. I'm not completely crazy yet. So, freaks (I mean that in a nice way, of course. Normal is fucking boring when you're young), feel free to mess up my brain and we'll have lots of fun together.

Another post will follow soon with a recap of the year 2009.

xoxo

Nu mai pot. Trebuie sa scriu sau ceva, nu stiu, vreau sa scap de toate senzatiile astea. In decursul a 5 minute trec prin toate starile posibile. Ma gandesc la ceva, imi vine sa plang, pe urma se intampla ceva pozitiv dar totusi ciudat si imi vine sa zambesc pe urma imi amintesc ca nu pot sa am incredere si ma intristez din nou pe urma imi vine sa rad din cauza nu stiu carei situatii si imi amintesc de o gramada de lucruri pe care trebuie sa le rezolv si tot asa. Ma simt ca o vaza usor crapata. Totul se misca prea repede. Sunt putin entuziasmata acum. Dar in acelasi timp ma simt ca si cand m-as fi despartit de cineva la care tineam extrem de mult. Acum mi-a trecut pt ca m-am uitat putin la Rock of Love 29745092592. Best brain washing show ever. Imi vine sa le macelaresc pe alea. Si lui Bret Michaels sa-i mutilez organul genital.

Confusing love with fascination. I have to cut my fingernails. "Du siehst so gepflegt aus." Ewwwwwwww fucking PERV. I need Kippen. I don't know what to do. Should I go buy some or just make something to eat and try to forget about it or both? Let me have a look inside my wallet.

Desperation

Don't you just hate it when you remember some people you used to hang out with or just see on a regular basis, but you didn't really know them. I mean, you knew their first name and what they do or where they come from and you would exchange some random insignificant words with them. But you would always be fascinated by them and think that they would never be interested in you and that they don't even know you exist. You're like everybody else to them and you don't even TRY to get closer to them and you keep on watching them from a distance....dreaming. And then, when it's too late and they're gone, you find out that they actually cared about you and felt the same way as you did. And they always noticed you. So once you find that out you FREAK OUT and try to find them but you arrive there at the wrong moment. Then your whole life changes and you drift away from your group of friends, everything just turns to dust and you move on. Years later you remember that person you used to desperately want to be closer to and try to find them and get in touch with them and you SUCCEED. But again, it's too late. It's so late that you just can't go back. Small talk, bad timing..fate? And so you wake up from time to time having flashbacks that only give you heartaches and zero hope.

Let's all burn in heaven.

I don't get it. I HONESTLY don't get it. What is wrong with you people??? 5 more years! FIVE MORE FUCKING YEARS! Do you know what that means? Don't you want a change? Why are you so afraid? Why are you so comfortable? You ignorants! You are just a bunch of lazy ass ignorants! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU with all my grey little heart! I'm starting to truly believe that I was born in the wrong time period. I'm so sorry for my parents. I don't think they'll ever get to live through better times. How can you try to see a bright future in front of you when you're constantly haunted by your home country and the shit that's going on in there. It's not like there's nobody fighting for the right thing, it's just that they don't have enough power to do so. And we don't seem to be confident enough. We're afraid to take chances, to risk. "What's the point? We'll still lose anyway..." Yeah. Nice way of thinking, asshole. I'm sick of feeling sad. But I guess I'll have to get used to this. I think the fact that the world is beautiful is just an illusion. It's just a dream.