The change really came about when Edward realized that he was being too controlling and that Bella actually can be trusted somewhat with her own safety (as long as this doesn’t involve cars, motorcycles, cliffs, water, tennis, needles, knives, mace spray, axes, shotguns, the pavement, the woods, climbing trees, airplanes, volleyball or a potted prickly cactus, which only through supernatural means made it from Arizona to Forks without sticking her in the eye).

It didn’t go smoothly. I somehow managed to hit myself in the head with my racket and clip Mike’s shoulder on the same swing. Then, I clunked Michelle on the back of the head, providing a wonderful concussion, which in the same forward motion over-extended my arm, pulling a muscle, which caused me to swing backwards, providing a graceful set of bruises to Marvin. As I jerked forwards again so as to not fall backwards from the motion, I made a circular swing and knocked three other classmates unconscious, the power of this swoosh causing me to backpedal ferociously, knocking wildly into Harry, Jeremy, Megan, Fiona and Paula, knocking them all out cold. Centrifugal force then caused me to go flying again, slamming the end of the racket into George, Jamie, Tyler, Ashley, Christopher, Minnie, Todd, Shamika, Keisha, Zahra, Shonda, Sabrina, Krista, Daronda, Theresa, and Felicia, among others, before I finally landed at the feet of Coach Clapp.

Honest, officer. That’s what happened.”

Jacob:

“You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker won’t be home yet.”

I glared at him.

“No offense intended,” he said quickly.

“Eat toads!” I said, spinning on my heels and pushing Jacob into the ocean, where he was attacked by piranhas and crabs.

I loved how casual this sentence was:

Afternoons were the hardest part of my day. Ever since my former best friend (and werewolf), Jacob Black, had informed me about the motorcycle I’d been riding [...]

Alternate version:

Afternoons were the hardest part of my day. Ever since my former best friend (and green singing frog), Kermit, had informed me that my fly-repellant was ruining his chances of decent dinners [...]